I remember 13 years ago, Darryl and I were stuck in California traffic and said to ourselves,”That’s it! We’re done with California!”. We had been born and raised in California, with one small (2 year) stint moving to Scottsdale, AZ when we were first married 28 years ago. Looking back, I wish I wasn’t so hasty to get back to California from Scottsdale. We had put down a few roots in AZ, and it was a really nice place back 28 years ago…not too crowded yet, not pretentious, and the scenery and golf courses were certainly beautiful. We enjoyed it, but the Summers were too hot for me….yes, it’s dry heat, but so is standing in front of a blazing hair dryer!
So now here we were stuck in traffic, and I actually said to Darryl,”If you said to me right now “Let’s move to…I don’t know…Seattle…I’d pack up and go!” Darryl quickly said,”No thanks…don’t think I could take the gray skies and rain”. So we said to ourselves,”Let’s be open and see what the Universe brings”. And it did….it wasn’t long before a friend mentioned Montana. So we went, took a look and loved everything we saw! It was heaven! We literally came back to California, cleaned up the house, put a sign in the yard and went for it. I’m sure everyone thought we were crazy! We knew one person in MT, but thousands in CA. But CA wasn’t “home” for us anymore. Frankly, I don’t think I ever felt at home in CA…. I don’t know why, but I didn’t love it. I think Darryl was fine with it, but it never stole his heart like AZ and MT have. We both knew there was a better life out there for us and our kids. So 13 years later we have an unbreakable bond with our friends and our community in Bozeman. Montana has stolen our hearts over and over again, and it continues to anytime we take a road trip. I remember one time last Summer; we borrowed our friend Timmy’s old Scout and we drove it all up in the Mountains from Maudlow to Wilsall….best Summer day, ever and it drove David crazy! He was sooo mad at us because the mountains kept showing up in our view with no end in sight, and he said,”You guys have gotten us lost!” Ok, we did feel we were lost, and we had no cell service, but we didn’t let him know that. So we laughed and laughed until we found our way to a fun little bar in Wilsall with country music and burgers. The day was amazing and I think even David enjoyed it eventually, but we chuckle when we think how fun it is to torture a teenager… taking a drive in nature with no cell service…that’s good stuff people!
Now, as the years have gone by, Derek’s health started failing. We were stunned to find out that this otherwise energetic, happy and fun guy had kidneys that weren’t doing their job! Can you imagine the fear and disbelief? It was almost as bad as the day we made the long drive home after seeing the Geneticist when Derek was 2 1/2 years old, and having her confirm that Derek had a very rare genetic syndrome called Joubert’s Syndrome. What the Hell? That was the worst day of our lives, but the kidneys failing is right up there with removing Damon from our home, going through PTSD from what we’ve been through with Damon, trying to protect David and ourselves and basically just trying to put one foot in front of the other each day and move on. I have to say, we are UNBREAKABLE, and we joke that it’s the “Parent Team .vs. the Kid Team” and that the Parent Team always wins, and the Kid Team sits on the sidelines. The Parent Team cannot be split up by the Kid Team. The Kid Team is screwed because this Parent Team wins the World Series every year whether it’s been a good year or not! Hahaha Sorry Kid Team, Not Sorry!!!
Now we are MAROONED IN SEATTLE! We are filled with fear and worry, but we are trying not to lose ourselves in it. Some of us (Darryl) do a better job of not worrying that others of us (me). I am, I hate to admit it; the “What If?” thinker. I stupidly like to think that I can outsmart the future and fix problems with worrying before they even happen. It’s stupid, but it’s been a tough habit to break.
This Coronavirus has thrown a huge wrench in our plan that we never expected! It hasn’t debilitated us, and it won’t break us, but it has been such a scary step in this process. As the transplant team had educated us that any newly transplanted person needs to steer clear of any germs, viruses and other people for 3 months. The Coronavirus was just barely ramping up when we got to Seattle, and we didn’t know much about it yet. We were so fortunate to have our surgeries when we did, and get through this medical crisis and be on the other side of it before the Coronavirus started to increase. We had already started to “self quarantine” before this even became a thing to do. We have avoided all other people, and have just stayed holed up in our rental home here in Seattle. Derek has had many visits back and forth to the hospital each week, but we are certain to bring antibacterial wipes, have him wear a mask and not go near anyone else. This is such a sharp contrast from our first Monday at the UW prior to surgery. We were standing in line waiting for our blood draws, and I had my “Of Course I’m an Organ Donor, Who Wouldn’t Want a Piece of This?” tshirt on when I noticed a lady straining to read my tshirt from across the room, so I opened my sweater for her to get the full view. She laughed and came over to us and said, “I just donated my kidney 2 week ago!” and I was astonished to see how well she was doing! It filled us with excitement! Our energy started to gain momentum like wildfire crossing through a hillside, and several patients started reaching out to us! Before we knew it, other people were popping their heads up, out of line with their masks on saying,”I just received a kidney 5 weeks ago”, “I’m a double lung recipient”, “I’m on my second kidney transplant!” It was like a sad, but funny version of an SNL episode, or like the “Dancing Henrys” in hospital gowns in “Something’s Gotta Give”. We were all so busy chatting, we almost missed our names being called for our blood draws. It was soooo neat being so quickly welcomed into this world of transplant. It was like a huge family opening their door to let us in. We immediately felt that we were meant to be there. Then, a really impressive man named Saint, called our names and we had to go back. Now that was certainly another sign from God! Saint was bringing us back for blood draws. His dog tags shined and clinked against his dark skin as he walked around and kept things in order at each blood draw station. He had spent many years in the Army and my dad, whom is a very impressive Vietnam Veteran himself told him, “Welcome Home” and I loved watching them bond for those few minutes. I felt like we were in God’s hands there while Saint talked with us. Thank you God for bringing guys like him and my dad home safely; thank you for letting them be in our lives and show us that we can overcome anything.
I have had many conversations with God, and said so many prayers these past few weeks that I cannot count. Thank you for putting such caring, thoughtful and skilled medical personnel in our path, and watching out for us. We will overcome. The best is yet to come.
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