So I went into Sola today in my flustered mad dash of late lunch craziness on my way to my next appt; and I love how everything they make is based on whatever is fresh, so I got some crustless quiche and some nice salad with beets & veggies…very light, healthy, yummy and good for me, right? Not so fast….Hold up! I get to the check out and those assholes have delicious baked goods right there! I LOVE their gluten free goodies, so I decide, “What’s one gluten free chocolate sea salt cookie gonna matter?” (That would be the devil speaking). But guess what! She also had one of those damn chocolate cookies that was made into a sandwich cookie…with…wait for it…buttercream in the middle! NO! So I had to order one of each!!! And she goes, “Ok, you want both?” and I flat out lied and said,”Sure, I’ll share one with my son”…total BS, I had NO INTENTION of sharing with him….where did that come from? Why would I say that? Why lie? Why not just say, “Yep, I’m eating both…and it might be all in one day, I might not save the rest until tomorrow…so deal with it!” But no, I had to hide the fact that I wanted both! Must be something about the 50s. When I was in my 30s, and I was ripped and muscle-y, running and working out all the time; I used to just put it on the conveyor belt in the grocery store and be like,”Yep, that’s for me!” I’ll never forget, one time I put a tub (ok, 2 tubs) of Philadelphia cream cheese all ready made cheesecake filling on the conveyor belt…I couldn’t choose between regular and chocolate, so they both ended up in my cart. The guys says, “Yum, someone is making some cheesecakes”, and I said, “Uh no, I will be opening these and eating them with a spoon…no actual cheesecake needed!” And another time, I scarfed down a whole bag of Buffalo Blue Cheese Kettle chips, and went back a few days later to get another one…I told on myself…”Yep, just ate this bag nearly by myself they’re so good, so I’m back for more!” People love people that just tell it like it is…at least I do! So from now, I’m gonna be like, “Hello there Grocery Checker, Yes, I will be eating all of those Jelly Bellies, do you have a problem with that? If you’d like I’m happy to save you every single black licorice one, and bring them right back to you because I will NOT BE EATING ANY OF THOSE!!!!!!
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