I took David (13 years old) to the doctor yesterday for a check up. I love to embarrass him, it really satisfies something somewhere deep in my soul that I can’t explain; it’s payback for all the crap he tries to pull, payback for rolling his eyes at me, and waking up so cranky that I want to stick a stamp on him and ship him back to hell! (Aren’t all pre-teens and teenagers from HELL?)
Although all the windows were closed in my car, my jam came on the radio (not true..I selected it from my playlist just to annoy him!) and I had to belt out “Sorry, not Sorry”…yeah it felt good! David rolled his eyes so hard I think he popped a blood vessel. But I love how he was secretly trying not to laugh! I feel like I’ve accomplished my mission when he’s trying to hold in some laughter just to seem cool…like, “Whatever mom”. He slinked so far down in the car seat, that I felt like I hit a home run! If it was summer time, I could have had all the windows and moonroof open and hit a grand slam…damn teenager…he’s lucky it’s Winter! And he’s lucky he’s part of this family…who else is going to serenade him with Demi Lovato and “The Biebs”, especially when his friends are in the car with him?
When we finally got to the doctor appt, we found that he’d grown a bit taller..another inch or two; he as very excited. I saw my opportunity to get the doctor on my side, so we started to discuss healthy eating habits, my favorite topic; it’s something I’ve been trying to beat into David’s head every day. I shared with the doctor that I had bought a can of whipped cream, and then when I went to use it the first time, it was nearly empty. I told him there still seemed to be some in the can, but it wasn’t coming out in a whipped form…it came dripping out like milk. David was mortified and crossed his arms and rolled his eyes when I asked the doctor to explain the dangers of huffing to us. David said,”Geez mom…I was just putting whip cream on oreos, not trying to kill myself!”
Ok… so I maybe I crossed the line yesterday, but hey, at least he knows I’m aware of such things, and that I’m looking out for him. So on our way home, I said, ”David I didn’t mean to embarrass you….I’m sorry, not sorry”.
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