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Maybe I need my eyes checked: I just saw a Huggies commercial and it quickly flashed the diaper packaging, and it was shown as being size “Breast Fed NB3”….What the hell? Have I been out of the “baby game” so long now that there is extra added stress of having to pick the right diapers based on whether your baby breast feeds or takes formula? You’re kidding me, right? What’s up Huggies? As if parenting decisions aren’t hard enough, especially for parents of special needs kids; you want me to stand in the line of some judgmental cashier, and wait for my turn to be ridiculed because I chose the “formula fed” baby diapers over the “breast fed” diapers? I think I’d rather be forced to buy condoms, KY, and Preparation H all at the same time instead of formula fed diapers (just Imagine what a cashier would think if I laid all that down on the conveyor belt all at once!!!!) Anyway it seems it’s frowned upon these days to feed your baby formula, and now there’s a way for other judgmental moms around you to zero in on the fact that you formula feed instead of breast feed. Seriously, I would choose the breast fed diapers even if I was formula feeding just to avoid the judgment! I can picture a middle-aged “Michelle Duggar type” mom shaking her head in disproval, ”Honey, shouldn’t you be breast feeding?” and “The Lord says all moms must breast feed!” This would be worse than being talked into applying for a new Target card. Get me out of here!!!!! I remember when Derek was a newborn baby, and we were trying to breast feed (yes, that’s right lactation lovers, some special needs babies aren’t able to breastfeed like the 4 year old kid in the Movie “Grown Ups” (ICK!), and we struggle horribly through the whole process); but anyway, I remember a very opinionated woman, her title was a “Lactation Consultant” (who ironically seemed bitter and unhappy) was “consulting” with me (actually, I remember it more as being lectured to, but “potato, potautow”). That meeting was perhaps one of the worst meetings I’ve ever had in my life. I was pitting out my shirt because I was so stressed and I was sitting with her with only half of my shirt on, and no bra….it was so demeaning! It was worse than being spray tanned…and that’s completely nude!!!! All I wanted to do was grab my baby and go, but I felt stuck, like I was sitting in cement and if I got up to leave too early; I would be perceived as a mom that didn’t care whether her baby was getting proper nutrition or not. I had visions of cold-cocking her on the side of the head and just taking my baby and running, but for some reason, I couldn’t move. Her lips were moving, but I was tuning her out….her condescending expression was too much, I felt nauseating and hot. I was young and not quite confident enough yet, to say, ”SUCK THIS!” and leave. This was my first baby, and being confronted with a rare genetic syndrome did nothing to enhance my confidence in mothering either; I was a woman stranded on a foreign planet.
I always feel like moms of special needs kids have a heightened “fight or flight” mode and that we are always surveying those around us. When Derek was young (well…whom am I kidding, I’m still like this) I was like Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver “You Talkin’ to me?” I felt like I was primed to pick a fight if anyone even looked at us cross-eyed. You feel overly protective when you have special needs kids; I’m not saying it’s healthy for moms like this to be walking around ready to strike like a snake at any time; but you’re usually at your wit’s end, and no one else seems to understand. And one wrong look from the “perfect mom” with typical kids, and you’re ready to kick some “mom ass”. So think of that next time you see a mom selecting formula fed diapers instead of breast fed diapers and keep your mouth shut…don’t even look at that mom, don’t look at her kids, just get your stuff and leave…no judgment….or else!!!!!!